When Like and Hate Collide
Facebook users generate 2.7 billion Likes and comments per day. But what if rumours are true and the site decides to add a “Hate” button? Would you use it? See if you recognise the common Facebook Pests people already like to hate.
Without even thinking about it, we all use a gesture on Facebook that’s been around since ancient Rome: a thumb pointing at the sky. Back then, if enough toga wearers held their thumbs up after a gladiator fell in the combat arena, the emperor would spare his life. That’s where “rule of thumb” comes from. But there was also a thumb down in those days - and for unlucky heavies in the ring, it meant getting the chop.
While being “Hated” on Facebook wouldn’t be that hectic, it could still be unsettling for big brands, superstars, or just the millions of ordinary people who don’t have a thick skin, and might feel genuinely hurt by a “Hate”. That’s why Facebook would consider very, very carefully before adding such a function to the mix.
What do you think? Perhaps “Hate” is too extreme? Maybe Facebook should just add a “Dislike” button. Either way, these commonly shared Facebook Pests, who keep popping up in FB News Feeds, would take some knocks:
The Energy Drain
You get them in everyday life, of course. It’s that person who starts making you feel tired the minute they walk into the room. They have this little rain cloud that follows them around all day, and they drone on about how sucky their job/love life is, to anyone they can trap in a corner. Spend too long in their company and they’ll suck all your life force out of you, until you deflate like a punctured pool noodle. And they can do the same online.
The Word Smasher
We aren’t all Olympic-level spellers and everyone’s fine with that. You might also have been raised in a different language, and that’s totally fine. But whenever typing posts in one’s first language, there’s really no excuse for writing things like YOUR instead of YOU’RE, or THEIR instead of THERE… Computers have a spell checker: use it, Word Smashers, instead of giving your Friends eye-ache. Also, please don’t SHOUT WITH CAPITALS ALL THE TIME. Eish.
The Holiday Ghost
How do they do it, we wonder. One minute they’re posting sunset photos from a Botswana game reserve, then two days later they’re flaunting cocktails in Camps Bay. Then soon after that, oh, look: “Yay! We’re on holiday in Zanzibar!” The exotic Facebook photos of the Holiday Ghost haunt the rest of us, who happen to be working a 9 to 5 day and can’t live the life of a permanent globetrotter. Stop making us jealous, Ghost.
The Happy Snapper
Then there’s this guy. "Here’s a picture of my new cell phone."
"This is me walking down the road, LOL."
"Hey, look at my cat. Look."
"Look, look everyone, paint drying on a wall!"
The Happy Snapper has their thumb permanently ready to click their phone camera, Upload and (over)Share, anywhere, all the time. They take so many pictures that when they look back on the last year, they can’t remember seeing anything that wasn’t on a cell phone display screen.
The Public Speaker
This is the loudmouth who chooses to send you a private, potentially embarrassing message on Facebook – by writing it on your Wall. Cringe! Like, for instance, “Hey bro, so you called in “sick” today hee hee!! Your so lazy! Anyway have a great day with your new XBox game you lying faker!”
And don’t forget…
You know they’ll be waiting, ready to pounce. If there’s suddenly a Hate button on Facebook, the Hater will officially loathe everyone and everything – just because they can. Even adorable little puppy dogs napping on pink cushions.
Even if you post the most amazing, most engaging, most legendary Facebook post ever, the Hater will hate it. Maybe Facebook should add an “Unhate the Hate” button too.
Def Leppard & Taylor Swift (live): “When Love & Hate Collide